Prologue

Three weeks prior

 

"You're not the star you used to be, Bella." Iris Johnson stared across the desk at her client.

Bella McGuire folded her arms as she sighed and looked out of the window, across the city. "I'm just not ready to accept that."

"Well, I don't know what else to tell you. Clubs have known for months that you'd be available this summer." She steepled her fingers. "And the options for you are limited."

"Nantes are interested. I could probably create a bidding war between Newcastle and Leicester City, and Bristol would definitely take you. But if it's the WSL you're set on, Bath Street Harriers are the only club willing to offer you a two-year contract, and that's based as much on your reputation and ability to sell shirts and season tickets as anything else."

"That’s just bullshit." Bella was already on her feet. She paced the length of the large office before turning back to the window. Was that all she was now? A commodity to sell shirts and get arses on seats? "I’m guaranteed game time?”

"Yes. Which is why I think they're the best option for you. They've survived two seasons, established themselves in the middle of the table, and now they want to kick on. Players like you help them do that."

"What about the States?"

"Unless you fancy the arse end of Kansas or Utah..." She held her hands out, motioning for Bella to sit again. "Look, it's a good offer from Bath Street. They've got a good squad, healthy competition, and an academy they're building for the youth team. They’re even providing a flat for you to rent in a swanky part of town.”

Bella’s shoulders sagged. “I already have a flat in a swanky part of town.” Although the lease was up on that next month, wasn't it?

 “They're on the up, Bella, and you could be part of building something there instead of wasting another season on Arsenal's bench.”

"That bench is comfortable." Bella dropped back into the chair. "All I want is a fighting chance to prove I’m not done yet."

Iris smirked. “And they've been clear there isn't room for you anymore. You’re back from an injury that kept you out for months.”

“I didn't have an ACL, Iris. I’m good to go.”

Iris ignored her and continued, “And then there was the drama with…” She didn’t say the name. She didn't need to. Bella felt the words like a gut punch anyway. “So, you can leave with your head high and play out the rest of your career at a club that wants you...or...”

"Don't you say it," Bella warned. She scowled at the woman who'd been her agent for more years than she could remember. "I'm not retiring."

"Then sign the contract with Bath Street!"

 

Three weeks later

 

The rumour mill had been busy ever since Bath Street Harriers had called a late afternoon press conference. Local press gathered alongside a handful of national reporters, online influencers, and podcasters.

Bella stood in the hallway in a kit that didn't feel like home. Wrong colour. Different style around the neck. It all felt alien to her. She picked at the short sleeve and rubbed her fingers over the WSL badge, then straightened, chin up, chest out.

She was still someone.

"Thank you all for coming." She heard Gabby begin. "This is becoming a bit of a thing, isn't it?"

Taking a deep breath, Bella prepared for the door to open and her call to walk through it.

Plastering a grin on her face, she reminded herself she was happy. She had a chance to reinvent who she was. New team, new city. She had a new flat, would meet new people, and that was what she needed, right? A chance and a change?

Gabby was talking again, telling the gathered reporters, "We've worked very hard this summer to make sure the squad is equipped for the season ahead."

"New signings?" someone shouted from the back of the room.

Even without seeing it, Bella knew Gabby was smiling as she spoke. She could hear it in her voice.

"You know I wouldn't drag you all in here for nothing."

A ripple of interest moved around the room.

"I'm not going to make you wait. Joining Bath Street, please welcome..."

The door opened, and Bella stepped into the room, instantly bathed in flashbulbs and words being shouted at her from all directions.

"I give you Bath Street’s new star, Bella McGuire."

Gabby beamed at her, the press was manic, and for a moment, Bella felt it—that spark she’d lost.

She was someone.

 

 

 

 

Chapter One

"So, this is it then?" Bella said to herself, looking around the room she’d still not settled into. The small flat she'd be renting while she stayed at Bath Street Harriers was perfectly adequate. It overlooked the river, had a balcony, plus a spare room for when her friends wanted to visit.

Her dog, Ruffles, had been padding around and sniffing at the furniture as though he’d needed to make sure it was all theirs. He’d looked up at her when she’d spoken, then carried on with his inspection.

Bella opened the doors and stepped out onto the balcony. It was sunny and bright; a beautiful summer's day. Below, she could see people strolling along the riverbank. Further along, tables and chairs filled with couples and families enjoying the day were scattered outside various eateries and bars.

Her mind drifted to Paige and the last time they'd had a happy day out like those people were having. One where they didn't argue and fall out. That happiness was a long time ago, and so was Paige.

A loud crash sounded, followed by a string of expletives. Bella poked her head over the balcony wall and looked towards the direction of the noise. On the ground below were the remains of a plant pot, soil and leaves having exploded and scattered across the paving. A woman looked over her own balcony wall, then turned her head towards Bella as if she could feel herself being watched.

With dark hair pulled back into a neat ponytail, full makeup despite the heat, and the fact she was wearing a pink hoodie and matching sweatpants—she was striking in a way that made Bella grip the balcony rail.

"Sorry." She gave a smile and a wince at the same time. "I thought I had it balanced and then…"

"Bit of a mess. Need a hand?" Bella asked.

The woman seemed to think about it, then shrugged. "Not much I can do about it now, but I did just open this." She held out a bottle of wine.

Bella worked out that she was three doors along. "I'll be there in a jiffy."

She checked her reflection and pushed back the annoying piece of hair that always curled. Pressing her fingers through the rest, she lightly mussed it until her clean fade and cropped, bleached-blonde top looked more intentional than accidental.

The clean beige shirt would do, as would the cream trousers she'd put on that morning. The waistcoat was a last-minute decision. She grabbed her key, locked the flat behind her, and walked confidently along the corridor to knock on the door and wait for it to be answered.

When it opened, the woman had a glass in her hand. "Hey, neighbour,” she said, the greeting a little slurred.

"Hi… Everything okay?"

The woman grinned and opened the door wider. "Oh, you mean this..." She held up the glass and laughed. "Not my usual midday drink, I promise. I'm celebrating."

"Okay. Something good, I hope." Bella returned the smile. "I'm Jack." She felt herself loosen up. Bella was for work; this was Jack’s territory.

"Vanessa." She held out a hand, and Jack took it. "Nice to meet you, Jack." Vanessa led Jack into a room that was almost identical to her own, only this one looked even less lived in. Moving boxes were stacked in piles around a small sofa and a TV. "As you can see, I've only just moved in."

"Me too, actually," Jack said. "Well, I've been here a couple of weeks now, still settling in, but no more boxes," she joked.

Vanessa held up the bottle. "Fancy joining me?"

Jack considered it. She was on summer break, free to let her hair down, so to speak. ”I suppose. If you're celebrating, it would be rude not to.”

"I like your thinking." Vanessa grinned and opened a box to pull out another glass.

"So, what are we celebrating?" Jack asked as Vanessa filled her glass.

Vanessa sighed and spun back round. "I am finally free of the lying, cheating, two-faced git of a husband." She snatched up a piece of paper from the side table and waved it. "Final order. I’m officially no longer married."

The explanation sent a chill through Jack. Lying? Cheating? It could have been Paige she’d just described.

"Well, that sounds like a fabulous thing to celebrate."

"Right. New place, new job…and a new friend, too. I'm ready to start enjoying life again." Vanessa smiled, and it was the kind of smile that could knock people off their feet. “To new possibilities.”

Jack grinned. “And empty boxes.”

They clinked glasses, raised them, and drank.

"So, new to town or just a new address?" Bella asked as they poured another glass.

"Address. I've lived here all my life. Got married, had kids, and now a new chapter, too. You?"

"Oh, work. I've moved around a bit."

"What do you do?" Vanessa asked, the effects of the wine beginning to produce a healthy glow in her face.

For a moment, Jack considered the question. There weren't many people in her life who didn't know exactly who she was. She’d been splashed all over the tabloids the year before when the drama with Paige was revealed. It was unexpectedly nice to be a little anonymous; to know someone might want to spend time with her just because she was someone they connected with and not because she’d been part of a successful football team or made headlines for all the wrong reasons.

Vanessa had no clue that Bella, or Jack, was a reasonably famous name in women's football. Why not let it stay that way? The lie came easier than it should have.

"I'm in sports management," she said.

"And what does that entail?" Vanessa asked, sitting up and leaning in, all her attention on Jack. The way her eyes focused in on Jack’s face was almost hypnotic. She smelled nice, too. Nothing too overpowering, just a hint of flowers and citrus—the kind of smell that lingered on bedsheets.

"A lot of running around," she said, which was technically true. "What about you?"

"Currently unemployed. I ran the home while I was married, and I've done okay with the settlement. Agreeing to let him keep the house meant he had to give me a lump sum to tide me over while I worked out what's next."

"So, you're footloose and fancy free for the summer?"

Vanessa grinned as though she'd only just come to that conclusion. "I am." She tilted her head as she asked, "So…Jack. Short for…"

"Nope, just a nickname. Jack and the Beanstalk. I was freakishly tall as a kid."

Vanessa laughed, and Jack thought it might be the sexiest sound she'd heard in ages.

"You are quite tall," Vanessa said, sliding a box out of the way to bring her feet up onto the sofa, tucking them in beneath her.

"Five nine and a half," she said. "But I was five-six when I was twelve."

"And, I mean, I'm kind of assuming you're—"

"Gay?" Jack smiled, then added, "What gave it away?"

"No, that wasn't what I was going to say. That's obvious." Vanessa giggled, sipped her wine, and stared over the rim of the glass. "I was going to say that I assumed you’re handy to have around when the top shelf is too high."

"Very handy," Jack said, grinning. "So, you're not bothered that I'm gay?"

"Why would I be bothered?"

Jack shrugged. "You shouldn't be, but that doesn't mean people aren't."

"That must be difficult," Vanessa said, her head leaning against her palm, elbow on the back of the sofa.

"Sometimes. I try not to spend time with people who don't make me feel good."

"So, who's your type?" Vanessa laughed and drained her glass, curious about Jack’s response.

Jack leaned forward, picked up the bottle, and refilled Vanessa's glass. "You are," she said, smiling.

"Me?" Vanessa laughed again. "I'm not gay."

"Who said you had to be?"

"Isn't that part of the deal?" Vanessa smiled and took another mouthful.

Jack shrugged again. "These days, I don't think labels really matter. Most people are just living in the moment, exploring options, and seeing what fits." She put her glass down. "Like you. You left something toxic, moved away, started over… Who's to say what you can and can't do next?"

Vanessa blushed. "Okay, I have to admit, there have been times when I've wondered what it would be like."

"To be with a woman?"

She nodded.

Jack took that as her cue. She edged a little closer. They weren't that far apart to begin with, but now Vanessa was close enough to touch. Her hand rose, tucking a piece of hair behind Vanessa's ear, then her fingers slid under her chin. She stared into Vanessa’s eyes. "Maybe you should find out?"

 

 

 

Chapter Two

Vanessa found herself kissing Jack back.

Soft lips caressed her own—no hint of stubble, no eagerness to plunge into her mouth with a tongue that wanted to dominate her. No, this was something very different. The way Jack tentatively explored her mouth was sexy. Lips nipping, then sucking. A brief lick of warm, wet tongue, then it was Vanessa moving it forward, dictating the progression.

And Jack let her.

When the kissing stopped, it took Vanessa a full ten seconds to realise. Her eyes fluttered open to find Jack watching her. Jack bit her bottom lip, a little knowing smirk tugging on it as she it let go and said, "Well?"

"That was..." Vanessa felt giddy, breathless. "I need further research." She grinned and gripped Jack's shirt collar, dragging her forward to land on top of her. This time the kiss was more eager, more probing, more dominant, but still nothing like Paolo's, her ex-husband.

A hand closed around her throat, fingers pressing into the pulse at her jaw, thumb tilting her chin up; the pressure firm, intentional. It didn’t push her away—it drew her in, a current pulling her forward until a soft, involuntary sound escaped her lips and the fingers slid effortlessly into her hair.

Her palms pressed against Jack's chest, pushing space between them. "Wait, this is… I can't."

A faint smile pulled at the corner of Jack's mouth. "You can't?"

"No, I mean…I'm not gay…this isn't me, this…" What was it? Her mind spun. It shouldn't be this good, should it? Surely the point of a fantasy was that it wasn't real, and this felt real. Too real.

"Okay." Jack sat back, brought an ankle up to cross her knee, and picked up her glass again, sipping like she hadn't just had her tongue inside Vanessa's mouth.

How was Jack able to just shift back into causal, when those kisses were all Vanessa could think about?

Vanessa stood up, wobbling slightly. "Will you excuse me for a moment?"

"Sure, take your time." Jack's smile widened a little. Vanessa found herself returning the smile before she lurched forward and headed for the bathroom, every step a conscious thought.

She’d been drinking, that was true, but it wasn't only alcohol that made her feel drunk or made her unsteady on her feet.

Once the bathroom door was closed, she almost fell against it. Had this been what she was missing her entire life?

She touched her fingertips to her lips as she stared at herself in the mirror, still feeling Jack's mouth on her, still tasting the wine from Jack's lips and the faint hint of peppermint from her tongue. And she was wet. Absolutely, without any shadow of a doubt, soaked. Had she ever been so turned on from a kiss before?

Her hands gripped the sink.

She stared into the mirror again, fixed her hair, and wiped away the smudged lipstick.

"No more what-ifs, remember?" she said to her reflection. "New life, new page, new chapter."

She breathed deeply, set her shoulders, and steadied herself, then opened the door and strode out with as much confidence as she could find, and went back into the lounge.

Jack looked up at her. "Everything alright?"

Vanessa observed Jack for a moment. Younger, yes, but more experienced and worldly than Vanessa had been at that age.

She held her hand out, and Jack frowned as she took it, confused, but when Vanessa tugged, she obliged and stood up.

"Are we dancing?" she joked before she was led out of the room and down a hallway identical to her own.

Vanessa paused outside the door to her bedroom before opening it and leading Jack inside.

"I want to know."

Jack moved closer. "Know what?"

"What it's like…to be with a woman." Vanessa looked up, searching Jack's face. "I want you to touch me." She raised Jack's hand and placed it against her breast. "Here." Then she moved it lower, between her legs. "And here."

Jack smiled, brought her back hand up, and covered the spot where Vanessa’s heart was. "And what about here?"

Vanessa's eyes fluttered closed, a soft groan leaving her. "Maybe we deal with that another time."

There was a pause—not hesitation, just a moment to assess, to let the situation settle—and then Jack asked, "Are you sure?"

Just that simple question was enough to know she was. No man had ever stopped to ask. No man had ever thought to question when the chance to get her into bed presented itself.

"Show me," Vanessa whispered.

 Jack stepped forward, holding her gaze like she had all the time in the world, and she felt naked before a single item of clothing had come off.

 Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Jack pulled Vanessa between her thighs. "Do you want me to undress you? Or watch you get naked?" She pulled Vanessa closer. "Or just slide your trousers down, push your knickers aside, and fuck you over the end of the bed?"

The words drenched her further. "Is that what you like?" Vanessa asked, her fingers now reaching to touch Jack's face.

"Sometimes," Jack said. "What do you like, Vanessa? Are you a good girl, or a whore in the bedroom?" Jack watched her, letting her hands rest against the outsides of Vanessa's thighs.

The first answer that sprang to mind was that she didn’t know. Was she a good girl? Did she like to be a whore in the bedroom? More importantly, did she want to find out?

"I think I want to discover the answer to that."

"Okay," Jack said, tugging gently at the material now gripped in her hands. Once the waistband moved past Vanessa’s hips, the sweatpants fell and pooled on the floor. Jack moved her hands back on her thighs, this time on bare skin. She smoothed them up and down before settling behind and pulling Vanessa closer to straddle her waist.

Face to face once more, Jack cradled Vanessa's jaw, bringing their mouths together in a kiss that demanded movement—a rhythm Vanessa answered by rolling her hips downward. Jack’s smile broke the kiss for only a second before she shifted, rolling them over until Vanessa lay beneath her, pressed into the mattress. Jack’s thigh slid between hers, offering a firm, welcome pressure to rock against.

"Use me," Jack murmured, before her mouth was busy again.

Vanessa arched, her clit throbbing, desperate for more. The firm thigh muscle created a delicious friction that brought more moans and gasps from deep inside her.

Her mouth was claimed, her body pinned, then with no idea how, her knickers were eased to the side, and she felt the sensation of something strong and firm easing inside and filling her.

"Oh, yes…that's…"

“You’ re so wet,” Jack whispered, her fingers working in a slow, steady rhythm that matched the rocking of their bodies. “You like that?”

"So…good," Vanessa managed before she pulled against Jack’s neck and found her mouth again. She rolled her hips and rose to meet each thrust, her release already building. Jack curled her fingers while pressing her thumb hard against Vanessa's clit, and something inside Vanessa snapped and exploded outward.

A choked, guttural noise escaped her, as her eyes went wide, and her body convulsed—spine arching, hips bucking, head thrashing against the pillow.

"Ride it out," Jack encouraged, "and then I'm going to really show you."

 

 

 

Chapter Three

Jack grinned as she sucked her fingers clean, eyes still on Vanessa, half-dressed and looking like she couldn’t quite work out where she was.

"You okay?" she asked.

Vanessa nodded, still catching her breath.

"Do you want more?"

"I just need…" she gasped, her breathing jagged, "to catch…"

“You can do that while I do this.” Jack’s fingers hooked into the soft cotton of Vanessa’s knickers, sliding them down with deliberate slowness. Vanessa lifted her hips to help, the movement exposing her completely. When the fabric cleared her ankles, Jack gently pressed her thighs apart.

Vanessa started to sit up, suddenly conscious of her exposure, and made to close her legs.

"Don't hide. You're beautiful," Jack told her, stroking her fingers through the wetness. "This is beautiful." She leant lower, her breath warming the skin of Vanessa's thighs as she whispered, "And I want to keep showing you." She smiled up at Vanessa. "If you'll let me."

Vanessa nodded, then fell back the moment Jack's mouth covered her clit and began to devour her pussy with a hot, deliberate pressure that made her gasp and drop back against the sheets.

Strong hands clamped around her thighs, spreading her wider, tilting her hips up to meet Jack’s unrelenting mouth and tongue.

Her body's reaction was visceral. Every part of her tingled. Jack's tongue circled her clit relentlessly, then dipped down and slid inside of her.

“Jack,” she said, so quietly it was almost a whisper, then, “Jack…” louder this time, until her throat finally expelled, ”Jaacckk!” Like she was unable to control her own voice.

She could feel the climax building, and she tried to chase it. tried to follow the sensations that vibrated throughout her body.

Then she was there, and she submitted to it all—every touch, every sound, every feeling. She let Jack take control.

When she came, her body tensed and tightened, fingers gripping the sheet. She heard herself, sounds tearing from her throat again, this time feral, animalistic. Something carnal and unknown to her had been unleashed within.

Vanessa rolled towards Jack and tucked herself into her side. "I can't believe we just—" She pushed herself up on one elbow. "Jesus, were we that drunk?"

"You think that was because of some wine?"

Vanessa laughed. "You don't?"

"No, but maybe we should leave it there, and you can process it when you're more sober." Jack’s expression went black, and she pulled away until she was on the edge of the bed, all the warmth vanishing. "I need to get going. Ruffles needs feeding and a walk."

"Jack…wait, I didn't mean—" Vanessa scrambled to get up, then remembered she was half-naked.

"It's all good, Vanessa." She paused in the doorway. "I'll see you around, maybe."

Slowly, Vanessa sat back down on the bed and stared at the empty doorway. A moment later, she heard the quiet click of the front door.

"Idiot," she scolded herself. Her eyes closed and an image of Jack between her thighs filled her mind. Best sex of her life? Maybe.

Why had she said that? Why had she blamed the alcohol? It was bullshit, and Jack knew it.

The cold, hard truth was that she was terrified for what this all meant.

 She just came like a steam train for a woman she'd met an hour ago. What did that say about her?

She bent down and picked up her discarded clothes and tossed the underwear into the wash basket. As she started to fold the sweatpants, she felt the weight of her phone in the pocket. Fishing it out, she checked the screen.

K: All sorted Mum?

Typing out a quick reply, she dropped the phone on the bed, then thought better of it and picked it up again, scrolling through until she found the number she wanted and pressed call.

"Hey, you busy? I need to talk to you."